DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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