Yo dont text me then not text me
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
