i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
