"it" just moved
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
