Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
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