I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
