it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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