I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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