WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
