dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
