Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
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