Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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