i don't like sucking hair
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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