Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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