I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
