She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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