Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
