She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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