Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
