Its about making memories worth repressing
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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