break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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