So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
