Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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