Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
