So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
