he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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