Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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