You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
