dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
my liver is dry heaving
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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