i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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