I wish I could punch you in the face.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
