Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
