he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize