yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
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