i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
