so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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