I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
