im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
