Banned from zoo.
Again?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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