We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize