i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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