I'm gonna have a badass scar
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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