Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
