I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
