My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She told me I should be a condom model.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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