He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
