I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
