Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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