fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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