We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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