It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The beer is more important than you right now.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
