It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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