..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
