no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
