i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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