if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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