Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
two words: eviction party
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize