Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
