The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
