good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
