Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I supernannyed him into submission
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
