I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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