Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
