idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
