Dual....:-)
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
